Kevin, age 65, on the bus bound for the ranch for developmentally disabled adults where he resides (LARC Ranch) in Santa Clarita, CA; Kevin holds a drawing of a pumpkin he made during the daily workshop.
Marvin looks at his bobblehead of the Los Angeles Dodgers’ third baseman, Justin Turner, in his room. Marvin resides at a ranch for developmentally disabled adults in Santa Clarita, California where I have been photographing for four years (LARC). Marvin is a Los Angeles Dodgers’ baseball team fanatic; his room is a shrine to the team, displaying posters, baseballs, bats, trophies, linens and pillows. He also wears one of his many Dodgers’ shirts on a daily basis. Marvin is severely autistic and speaks rarely; he often mumbles to himself. However, when he knows a game is approaching and he hears someone say the team name, he will shout “Dodgers” enthusiastically. I have spent many hours around Marvin because he is Barry’s, a long-term subject (collaborator), roommate. I have often wanted to photograph Marvin in his room; however, for the last few years, whenever I would enter the room, Marvin would pace a bit and then leave, so I was unable to capture him in his personal living space. I would photograph him in the living room and during dinner, but he could never sit long enough in my presence in his room. Today, I visited the ranch and watched Marvin walk into his room. I followed behind him, asking him if I could photograph. He said, “yes,” as he began opening his closet full of baseballs and Dodgers’ ephemera. Marvin was relaxed. He began looking through his belongings, muttering to me about his new bat bag. He looked at the bobbleheads of his icons, as he sat on a chair, wearing his reading glasses. After about 20 minutes, he arose and went out to the living room. Before exiting, he muttered to me, “it was good seeing you.” It took a few years to photograph Marvin in his private space, but it reminds me that there is no time frame for a relationship. One waits and experiences occur as they should, surrendering and giving people the safe space to be themselves. Showing someone your fixation or means of grounding in a meaningful reality is vulnerable. #dodgers
Recently, I’ve been thinking about Rosie, a woman I photographed for three years who passed away in 2013 around this time of year. I shadowed the relationship between Rosie and her husband, Adam, as she battled cirrhosis of the liver. Rosie, married twenty years and is herself almost twenty years older than Adam, is dependent upon him for care. Rosie was born in Tehran, but emigrated to the US in her 30s. At the age of 40, she met Adam who was then 20. Adam is one of the few individuals who does not judge Rosie, yet he tells people who ask that she suffers from cancer to avoid the stigma attached to cirrhosis. Adam explains, “With cancer, it is nothing of your doing.” In spite of certain closeness between them, Rosie is often lonely. Rosie shares, “My anxiety comes back. I’m scared. I’m lonely. I’m sick. I think what will happen later. I am very scared of my life. I very soon [sic] call to Adam or somebody.” In 2011, I met Rosie and Adam when Rosie was temporarily housed at a nursing home in Los Angeles. She intrigued me and so did Adam, who wore a t-shirt from the Chicken Ranch, which is a brothel in Nevada. Adam told me about how Rosie loved to have women from the neighborhood visit their home so that Rosie could read their fortune. After her illness, Rosie was largely confined to her bed. She rarely wanted to go outside because she was self conscious about her appearance. She used to watch Gone with the Wind on repeat. I sat in one room with Rosie for 8 to 10 hours a day, while Adam was at work, driving a bus, or hooking up with sex workers. At her funeral, Rosie’s sister spoke about how Rosie’s once friend filled home was left empty during years of illness. In his poem “When You Are Old,” W.B. Yeats writes, “How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love fall or true; But one…loved the pilgrim soul in you, And loved the sorrow of your changing face.”
John looks up from his book and peers out of his security office to look for trespassers at the gate of a military retirement community in Southern Mississippi. John used to live in the Los Angeles area where he plastered pools. He moved to Mississippi with his wife with the hopes of having a more relaxed life. I asked him, “what are you reading?” He said, “you wouldn’t like it, it’s tough stuff.” I told him, “I am tough.” #inprogress
I’ve been spending time with a woman and a group of people who have changed my life. I can’t share images yet, but this landscape represents my gratitude. #forevergrateful
Jordyn at the trailer park. Another favorite girl of mine. #latedayofthegirl
Andrea reads at the housing project where she lives with her parents and older brother. #internationaldayofthegirl #dayofthegirl #shotoniphone
#internationaldayofthegirl
Artist Lonni Sue draws on a lightbox. Image taken on assignment for Geo Germany for an article about Lonni Sue, an illustrator who suffers from severe memory loss. My photographs of Lonni Sue and Aline, her sister and caregiver, will be out soon along with writing by Dr. Vivian Pasquet. @geomagazin #artist #illustrator #memory #encephalopathy
Lonni Sue draws on a lightbox. Image taken on assignment for Geo Germany for an article about Lonni Sue, an artist who suffers from severe memory loss. My photographs of Lonni Sue and Aline, her sister and caregiver, will be out soon along with writing by Dr. Vivian Pasquet. @geomagazin #artist #illustrator #memory #encephalopathy
Alysia, age 16, in her cell at the juvenile detention center in Albuquerque, 2012. From a long-term series entitled “Alysia.”
Fellow girls and womxn. • #inprogress @pulitzercenter
I heard it is International Day for Older Persons. Above image: Jeanie & Will.
This went up yesterday morning. “No malarkey,” as Will would say. When I was told I could reflect on any series/idea, I knew I wanted to speak about this story in the context of intimacy and belonging. This talk feels exposing. The people I document embrace their vulnerability with such courage by affirming to be photographed so closely. Here, I speak about three people who matter deeply to me. I also reflect on my inner experiences. Gah. One of many realities I’ve absorbed through being a documentarian is that honoring your truth is daunting. It is terrifying. But also so liberating. My talk nauseates me, but it also sets me free a bit. Hope it does something for you and the way you love and exist in all its complexity. Also, a note in response to an email I received - age doesn’t guarantee empathy or insight. Your soul does and that is irrespective of age. Trust your voice. http://go.ted.com/isadorakosofsky
Walter, at LARC Ranch, a community for developmentally disabled adults in Santa Clarita, CA where I’ve been photographing for 4 years.
Bianca in her apartment, 2010. Editing a nearly 11 year project about Bianca this week. My images of her have remained in folders for years, feeling like it was never the right time to share them. You know it when you feel it. • Born in Chicago and former neighbor to Al Capone, Bianca was born Blanche, but changed her name to Bianca during her Flamenco dance career. After 20 years of Flamenco, she became a costume seamstress. Bianca is estranged from her daughter and has no other family. After she was diagnosed with dementia in 2008, she moved into a retirement home. Her favorite thing to do is eat shrimp, drink champagne and dance, even when she has experienced a sense of alienation and a depression related to dementia. I have spent hours on her white couch, having long discussions about feelings and suicidality while listening to Billie Holiday on tape. I consider her a subject/collaborator and a friend. When I began photographing Bianca at the beginning of high school, she approached me at a cafe and asked me what my passion was. I told her it was documentary photography. She responded, "oh good. You will never be lonely." Bianca's favorite song is Blue Moon. “Blue Moons of Bianca” is a decade long photo, video, writing and sound based documentation. It is not only a document of her life, but also a conversation between us about remoteness, imprisonment, feminized anxieties and relationship to self.
Turned 25 today. 24 was the year I was restored to sanity in all areas of life. Here’s to a future quarter century of living from a place of love, empathy (self & others), growth, and peace while holding a camera or not. Thank you to all the beautiful people around me. I am so grateful. #birthdaygirl
Did this again. This time while wearing a pink pantsuit. Thank you so much @tedfellow @ted @marriotthotels for having me as a speaker at this special Ted + Marriott Salon. I was able to speak about love, grief, storytelling and the meaning behind life risking decisions in the work I do. So happy to have shared the stage with artist @candychangland who spoke about her groundbreaking public installations that push people to get in touch with their deepest fears and desires. Thank you to those who came out to listen!
Jeanie, feeling rejected and realizing that no man can heal the wounds left by other men. From “Senior Love Triangle,” a photo documentary (from the editing process for the forthcoming Senior Love Triangle book). • second image: Will’s fist on the floor of his apartment.
Justin in the shower at the casino. #inprogress #man #shotoniphone